Wondering whats left of me in this world...Wondering if that's all I really needed to have or be for you!

I look at my life wondering where the out come of everything that I have done til now will bring me, or what will be left of it/me in this world. I start to see that no matter what things are, they are still moving around me and are still passing me by, my reasons for saying this are as follows:... As I was moving/driving to Des Moines I kept looking in my rear view mirror thinking about what I was leaving behind....Family,Friends, and a broken heart that was never healed. Now as I drove back home to South Sioux and I looked in the rear view mirror I realized that my life was passing me by and time was slipping out of my hands. Once home, I ended up looking at old pictures that I had put away or hidden. Nothing like looking at pictures to bring back frozen memories in time. Its then that I realized that I was stuck in the shadows of my own mistakes & one of my biggest mistakes was hurting you. I know this cause this feeling of wanting you still runs through me with this feeling of needing to feel you again.
I get these goose bumps at times when I think of you like if something was crawling underneath my skin, & it never seems to fail to be followed up with a burning & hunger sensation for you; as to be asking for you to take me back to a place that I've never been to before.
Everyday that goes by I feel like Lil' by Lil' I'm dying inside. I have no place/where to go or run to. I start to wonder if I'm loosing my F'ing mind, for it feels like I'm running from myself in an endless circle that still gives me no reason to stop or as to why(?)! For the longest time everything I did & even myself seemed to be falling apart faster & faster, I was barely able to breath on my own...but I still stand here asking for you to give that something for which you already know what it is & for you to believe in that something!
So please tell me that its not all in my head, that I'm not loosing my mind, that whats ever left of me as a boy, man, friend as anything will be enough for you to see the best of me and that It might be enough for you once again & make me whole!